When we mention to people that Barry’s engaged in a five-year process to gain ‘permission’ to stay with his wife in the country of her birth, the response frequently includes some reference to how ‘everyone else gets in without any problem’.

Whilst there may be an element of truth in this, we suspect it’s not as ‘simple’ as people imagine for anyone other than EU nationals to enter the UK (and we’re not even sure about the simplicity of that route to be honest).

Regardless of the facts or fiction, for us we accept we must tick boxes and follow the rules (and I freely admit to disliking rules a lot!) in order to obtain Barry’s ‘Indefinite Leave to Remain’ (ILR) in England.

Confusion abounds …

We’d been planning on returning to England to live long-term, since late 2010. At that time it seemed fairly simple – a two-year process for Barry to go through to get his ILR.

When the goalposts changed in July 2012, we were oblivious.

We were busy – running businesses as well as being employed, getting our house ready to sell, studying and gaining coaching experience as I was then over half way through my Life Coaching Diploma, and a whole heap of other pressures.

Fortunately Tom, from NBWaioru, messaged me in November 2012 to inform me the process had changed from two years to five – and ‘new rules’ had been added. By then we’d already sold our house and booked our tickets for March 2013.

I shan’t bore you with the details (or expense) from then to Barry successfully gaining his first UK visa, in October 2013.

We knew we’d have to successfully apply again half way through the five-year process, and of course at the end of it.

From what we’d read about a ‘Spousal Sponsored UK Visa’, the next round was two years after the first visa was granted, which was the end of October 2013. The official website information is extremely confusing and complex to say the very least. Our minds boggle at the intricacies of journeying through the process every time we investigate it – and we’re fairly intelligent people!

As it was our understanding that once again we’d need the requisite lump sum in an easily accessible account for six months prior to the application, we’d ensured it was duly deposited in April this year (not a small sum – £62,500).

Since then, we’ve been very conscious we need to earn at least enough to sustain us and pay the bills. We’ve been looking forward to a hint of release from that pressure next month – after Barry negotiated the next round of his visa (fingers crossed!).

Ahead of our time

A few months ago I’d seen that Birmingham library offer free legal advice for immigration processes, and we’d tried a couple of times to book an appointment when we’ve been in the second city – but to no avail until yesterday …

I finally managed to make an appointment with the legal adviser when I took mum to see the library on Wednesday.

Thinking we were just wanting to make sure we had all the correct information, we weren’t prepared for the news that we actually couldn’t apply until 28 days before 21st July 2016!!!

Yikes!

Totally dumbfounded.

And to cap it all, a further ‘rule’ has been introduced without our knowledge.

Barry now has to pay £200 per year, or part of, towards any NHS ‘care’ he could potentially receive. We must pay this, £500, and get a reference number, BEFORE he applies in June. The fact that he’s seen a doctor and consultant once, last year, when he had optic nerve shingles (the stress of making him leave the boat to holiday in Cornwall!) and is unlikely to visit one again, is irrelevant.

But then I guess we’re not earning enough to pay National Insurance at the moment, and in NZ he’d pay for any visit to the GP, so maybe it’s understandable to charge ‘just in case’.

It is what it is

As a Life Coach I love to ‘reframe’ life’s challenges, put them in a different perspective, rather than dwell on them and see the dark side.

My reframe on this one is that by cocking up the time-frame, we’ve managed to keep hold of our savings and it’s provided the impetus to work hard to build up our businesses so they (just about!) keep our heads above water – excuse the pun!

In comparison to many people we know we’re extremely fortunate – and rich in an abundance of ways. We have choices. We could sit in a marina and both get ‘proper’ jobs. We could return to New Zealand and I could work as a midwife again (so long as I got back before March 2016!).

But we shan’t be doing any of those things.

Because we love what we’re doing. We love the freedom and flexibility of this lifestyle we’ve chosen. And we enjoy the businesses we’re working on and in currently.

Importantly I know time with my elderly mum is limited and that’s a priceless priority for me.

So we’ll engage a lawyer to steer us through the sticky, slimy, sludge of obstacles being put in our way – and we WILL make it to the finish line and proudly show Barry’s ILR at the end of this particular life journey.

We sort of understand the politics of the rationale of looking like the government is doing something about the ‘immigration crisis’ in UK, and being stuck in the middle of it. We know we’re powerless to change it …

And we wish others going through a similar process all the best – and we won’t get sucked into complaining about anyone else who’s perceived to be ‘getting into England easily’. Because actually we don’t know their story, and have no right to sit in judgement of them.